


Earth's Children: A Flippant Condensation

by Assassin_J



Category: Earth's Children - Jean M. Auel
Genre: Cliff's Notes, F/M, Mention of Canonical Rape, Spoilers, Summary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-05 02:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4162764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Assassin_J/pseuds/Assassin_J
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Brun was O.K. Broud was a meanie-butt."</p><hr/><p>Originally wrote/drew this in February 2005 (and added to it December 2006) with the title "<em>The Illustrated, Abridged 'Nobody Fucking Cares About The Landscape Quit Giving Us Unnecessary Backstory Recaps And For God's Sake We Don't Want To Hear That Stupid Song Anymore' Earth's Children® Saga"</em></p><p>Please do not misinterpret this as hating on the series, okie doke? On the contrary, I'm a fan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Earth's Children: A Flippant Condensation

**Author's Note:**

> I left a lot of stuff out and I may have misremembered a thing here or there but eh.

Ayla's family died in an earthquake when she was five years old. She was scratched by a lion, on her leg.

Iza, a Medicine Woman of The Clan of the Cave Bear, found her and adopted her. The Clan language had no words (except people's names), only gestures. Also they were a different species. (But everyone was white.)

Ayla stayed with the Clan and learned to be a Medicine Woman and also learned to hunt with a sling. (She was not supposed to do that second one, because it went against the societal expectations and cultural norms of the Clan.) Her totem was the Cave Lion.

The Clan Leader was Brun. His brother was Broud.

Brun was O.K.

Broud was a meanie-butt. He raped Ayla repeatedly.

Ayla had Broud's son. She named him Durc. Durc was half Clan & half not Clan. He was called an Abomination, but Ayla loved him. (They had not invented sex ed back then so everybody including Ayla thought that MAGICAL SPIRITS made babies and sex was TOTALLY UNRELATED.)

Later, Ayla was exiled from the Clan. (Because of Reasons.) She sought others of her kind. Durc stayed with the Clan, though.

For a while, Ayla lived alone in a valley. She invented the domestication of horses. Also she tamed a lion & discovered iron pyrite, "firestone".

At this same time, Jondalar & his brother Thonolan were on a Journey from the Ninth Cave of the Zelandonii to the end of the Great Mother River.

Eventually, J&T got to Ayla's valley. Ayla's lion killed Thonolan but she (Ayla) stopped Jondalar from being killed. (He did get his leg all sliced up, but luckily Ayla was a Medicine Woman and invented surgical stitching to suture the laceration.)

Jondalar stayed in the valley with Ayla. He started teaching her to talk. One day she suddenly woke up and said "I can think with words in my head!" or something stupid like that. Also they were in love.

Jondalar invented the spear thrower, described in detail, but no-one knows what it looks like. (Or maybe that's just me being bad at visualizing things.) They also had sex. Woooo

Eventually they embarked on an return journey to the Zelandonii. They met lots of people. Ayla tamed a wolf. The secret ingredient was pee. The Mamutoi adopted her. She almost married a black guy. Also Jondalar met some flatheads (people of the Clan).

Ayla learned a billion languages. She and Jondalar had lots more sex. (Mentioned multiple times is the fact that he's super popular with the ladies but he has a huge cock and always worried about hurting them but then he found Ayla's vagina can fit all of it in no problem.) Eventually they got back to J's people. Also Ayla was pregnant. She had by now figured out that sex makes babies. 

♡ Jondalar and Ayla got married ♡

The Zelandoni of the Zelandonii wanted Ayla to become a Zelandoni. Ayla did not want to, because she was scared or something. She had her baby and named her Jonayla which, if you ask me, is kinda ridiculous. Then finally, it is implied that Ayla agrees to be an acolyte of the Zelandonia.

Epilogue: In book six, Ayla et al go explore ALL OF THE CAVES as part of her mystic Zelandoni training. She and Jondalar kinda drift apart, and they both sleep with other people. Jondalar punches a guy's face in because in addition to having a huge cock he also Hulks out when you get him mad. But he makes up for it by saying he'll take care of all the guy's kids. (Guy has a lot of kids)

Anyway, A&J are like, broken up or something, but then Ayla goes on a mystical spirit quest and almost dies and Jondalar suddenly rushes back to be with her forever. The End?


End file.
